3. "I think you should..."

“我认为你应该...”

What could be wrong with a little well-meant advice? Plenty, contends Winfrey. "If someone comes to you and asks, 'What do you think I should do about this?' it's fine to give them advice. Otherwise, just don't. Offering advice when it wasn't requested makes you sound pompous, or at least like you enjoy appearing to be clever," she warns, suggesting guilty parties listen harder and ask better questions instead.

小小的善意的建议能有什么错呢？Winfrey认为大错特错。Winfrey警告说“如果有人问你，‘关于这个你认为我应该做些什么呢？’那么给他们提些建议没有问题。否则，不要提建议。别人没有要求你直接提建议会显得你很自大，或者至少显得你喜欢显摆自己很聪明”，她建议说错话而有罪恶感的人们努力倾听，用问问题来更好的替代。

4."I'm not judging you, but..."

“我不是在评论你，但是...”

Sorry, but yes you are. As soon as you say this you're being doubly annoying. It's clear to anyone even half awake that you are, in fact, being judgmental and, to add insult to injury, you're pretending that you're not. Quit it!

抱歉，但是你就是。只要你说这句话，毋庸置疑，你会让人很厌烦。对于所有人甚至是半清醒的人都是显而易见的，实际上，你就是在评论他们，假装你没有更是雪上加霜。不要用这个句子了！

"The very fact that you are thinking in terms of judging means that you are making some sort of judgment about them in your own head. And this isn't good for you or for them," writes Winfrey. If you're guilty of saying this regularly, you might be guilty of being a little too judgmental of others. Try to tame that tendency "by thinking up reasons why the other person's actions might make sense, and speak to them from that place of understanding," suggests Winfrey.

Winfrey写道“事实上，judging（评论）的意思是在自己脑海中对他们做出某种判断。这个对你或他们来说都不好”。如果你对经常说这句话感到愧疚，那么你也可能对有点太武断的评断他人感到愧疚。Winfrey建议“通过思考为什么其他人的行为有意义，并且从你理解的地方开始同他们交谈。”来改变这种陋习。

5. Big words

不常用或不熟悉的词

Here's a bonus fifth mistake that doesn't come from WiseBread but definitely bears repeating in this context. If you're a fan of using big words to demonstrate the breadth of your vocabulary and the brilliance of your thinking, be warned: Studies show that using fancy words when simple ones will do is a sure-fire way to end up looking dumb. So before you get out the thesaurus in an attempt to impress, remember that simplicity and clarity are generally a better signal of mastery than flowery language.

这附加的第五个错误不是出自于WiseBread，但是觉得有必要在这篇文章中重复一下。如果你喜欢通过说大家都不熟悉或不常用的词来展示你词汇的广度以及你才华横溢，小心了：研究表明，当简单的词汇就能表达你的意思时，使用华丽的辞藻毫无疑问会显得你很愚蠢。所以，在你抛开同义词典尝试给别人留下印象前，记住简洁、清晰明了的说法比华丽的辞藻更能表明你精通一门语言。