新托福TOEFL-iBT综合写作例文托福备考资料(五)2


时间:2018/4/15
作者:辛达托福代报名小编
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Sample Responses with Raters‘ Comments

Score 5 Essay

The lecture completely refutes the passage. It is said in the lecture that, the perceived acts   of altruism are nothing more than sneaky methods of gaining advantage for one‘s self. Contrary to the belief in the passage that sentinels risk their lives for the cause of the whole group, the professor says that the meerkat sentinels are in fact less prone to outside threats. The alarm sentinels give off causes to group to move rashly which draws the predators attention towards them, thus drawing away the attention from the sentinels.

The lecture refutes the fact that these meerkats are altruistic in the sense that they gain nothing in exchange of their services. In fact, researches have shown that they have a full stomach as they perform this “altruistic” duty and have a better chance of escaping from danger because they witness it first Proffer also offers a different underlying motivation that causes people to believe that acts such as donating an organ or sharing food with someone in need are altruistic. She says that people gain appreciation as a result of such acts, which may be deemed by some much more important than materialistic gains.

 

Rater‘s Comments

This answer meets all the criteria for a Level 5 response to an integrated task. The writer does a good job of selecting, framing, and interweaving points from the lecture and reading, explicitly and fluently presenting accurate connections between the relevant points. All three points made by the lecturer are included. Language is used accurately and effectively, and the overall piece is well-organized.

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