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修改意见:

(it makes your model fluent, keep it if you want to use your favorite model)When facing this question, different people will present different answers depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern. Some people claim that studying at home by using computer is a better way to learn knowledge. Others, on the contrary, argue that studying at traditional schools is more .(meaning can not be argued and compared to"more") As far as I am concerned, of the two opinions, I would choose to study at traditional schools. The reasons are presented as follows.

To begin with, studying at traditional schools would makes the communication between students and teachers much more convenient. In the process of learning, it is necessary for a student to communicate with the teacher. When students are encountered into some troubles, they will need the teachers’ advice and helps. In a school, by meeting their teachers everyday, students could gain the help conveniently and timely (promptly). For example, if a student does not understand some points of what the teacher is instructing during a class, he can put them to the teacher immediately and get the explanations instantly, which will definitely improving the efficiency of the study. However, under the same circumstance, students studying at home by using computers or television cannot receive the interpretation as quickly as those studying at schools and ;therefore, the effect of studying would be is greatly affected.

Next, studying at traditional schools is of enormous value for students to make friends and develop team spirit. When students attend the class together in a school, they will become familiar with each other and gradually associate with like-minded classmates, to get advice, to discuss projects and to exchange ideas. ( I dont get it). Besides, in order to fulfill a group assignment, students usually communicate more with each other, care for the team and develop the cooperative spirit, which will be very useful for them to adapt the working environment and build harmonious relations with their future co-workers. Obviously, these benefits cannot be achieved by adopting the means of studying at home lonely using computers or television.

very good point

In addition,(the connection is not good, because I can not get the additional point immediately. perhaps you need to revise your topic sentence in this paragraph) students cannot discipline themselves to study regularly at home. Without the supervision of teachers, a student easily tends to spend his studying time on other things, such as playing computer games or watching movies instead of learning knowledge from the computer or television. From this aspect, it is helpful for students to attend class at traditional schools.

good support.

Of course, to some extent, using computers or television to study at home has its own advantages to some extent. For instance, students could arrange their schedule by themselves and enjoy more freedom. But if all the factors are contemplated, the merits of studying at schools carry more weight than those of studying at home. So, if I am faced with the two choices, I would prefer to study at traditional schools.

excellent conclusion

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